Spring. For some of us, our spirits are only now awakening after all those gray days. Listening to the buzzing of bees, looking at a blossom and breathing in the fresh spring air shortly after sunrise, something inside us begins to stir. It is said that spring is the time to fall in love. But some people fall in love all the time.

Often this is associated with shame, sometimes even with failure. We want something on the outside and suffer when we don’t get it. Can we learn to celebrate our being in love? With all our cells? These are your very own feelings. Can you enjoy what feels good about it?

Longing for Unity and Merging

What is it really about when we fall in love? Many people are not even aware that we project all our longings onto another person and hope for perfect fulfillment. We all carry such a longing for unity and merging within us, the desire for absolute security and safety, that our system suppresses everything rational and only feels drawn in one direction. Towards the object of desire. This can be another person, but we also seek our fulfillment in the consumption of goods.

Can we pause and listen?

What is it really about?

A famous story from the Ramayana, an epic of the Hindu tradition, illustrates the power of attentive listening. The story tells of Rama, who is walking through the forest with some companions. When Rama hears the soft whisper of a voice, he asks his companions if they can hear it too. They answer: “No.” Rama begins to walk towards the whisper. As he gets closer, he recognizes that it is his name that is being spoken: “Rama… Rama.”

As the voice gets louder, his friends still say they can’t hear it. Finally, Rama comes to a large boulder from which the noise is coming. He gently places both hands on the rock. At that moment, the rock breaks open and inside is a person who was trapped in the rock by a spell. By listening to the whisper, he was able to find out what was trapped and then free it.

How often do we ignore what is really going on inside us? Too often we get carried away by our desires, our aversions, our drowsiness. We get carried away by our fear.

we don't hear the soft whispering.

True listening is not easy. Often we are emotionally unavailable and live somewhat outside of our bodies. We get drawn into our tasks. Always leaning forward a little into the next. “I just have to finish this and then I’ll have time for meditation, for myself….”. That’s the monkey mind. “I’ll rest soon, I’ll just finish this and that…” We don’t hear the soft whisper.

We are trapped in all the external things. To really understand what is going on beneath the surface, we must close our mouths and open our minds. Open our inner ears. When we take the time to listen to our pain and our desires without judgment, we can discover what is hidden within us. Like with the giant boulder that Rama broke open by gently (!) placing his hands on the rock.

Pause and ask your heart: What do you need? What is really going on here?

What is it about when we are in-love. I love this German expression, which already draws attention to the fact that something is a little mis-…. It’s not quite real. Something misguided. It already suggests that it’s not about love, but that our feelings are misleading us. Many people think that being in love is love. But it is not. It shows us our deepest longings. Pause here. Ask yourself what you really want.

If we don’t listen with our whole body, being “in love” could get us into trouble. This is especially true when we’re in a long-term, committed relationship and have children. Instead of jumping on the bandwagon, we can pause. Go into the woods and take a walk with that feeling. Become aware of its clinginess, the repetitive thoughts, and the underlying emotions. Let’s get right to the heart of the matter:

What is it that I really long for? And what do I need?

Through silence, deep listening, our meditation practice, the practice of compassion and kindness, the deep understanding that we are not alone, that we are not separate, we can always immerse ourselves in the universal source that nourishes us.

How about doing what really supports our deepest longing? Maybe spend time in nature. Cuddle with someone. Dance. Be creative, paint or create something. Quite simply. Bake a cake.
Am I listening to my body? Is he getting the right amount and type of exercise? How do I nourish my body, mind, and heart?

What magic spell has trapped us in the rock? What needs to be released?

We can only really listen when we reconnect with our body again and again. By feeling into it. Listening to the different body spaces.

You can find a guided meditation (20 minutes) on this on my YouTube channel.

Belonging Buddhism Embodiment Longing Meditation Mindfulness

In Love – Longing for Unity and Belonging